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(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
Angry Customer:
“Damn f**s.”
Gay Man:
“Excuse me?”
Angry Customer:
“You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
Gay Man:
*quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
Angry Customer:
“Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
Angry Customer:
*to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
Owner:
“I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
Wife:
“Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
Owner:
“Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
(The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)

harmonizingly:

The people who come running to hug you after you haven’t seen them in awhile are my favorite type of people.

maxtheirisagent:

rifa:

maxkirin:

So, let me guess— you just started a new book, right? And you’re stumped. You have no idea how much an AK47 goes for nowadays. I get ya, cousin. Tough world we live in. A writer’s gotta know, but them NSA hounds are after ya 24/7. I know, cousin, I know. If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

You’re in luck, cousin. I have just the thing for ya.

It’s called Havocscope. It’s got information and prices for all sorts of edgy information. Ever wondered how much cocaine costs by the gram, or how much a kidney sells for, or (worst of all) how much it costs to hire an assassin?

I got your back, cousin. Just head over to Havocscope.

((PS: In case you’re wondering, Havocscope is a database full of information regarding the criminal underworld. The information you will find there has been taken from newspapers and police reports. It’s perfectly legal, no need to worry about the NSA hounds, cousin ;p))

Want more writerly content? Follow maxkirin.tumblr.com!

HELLO

HELLA

timelady-of-221b:

thelaughteraddict:

deductionwiththedoctor:

gallifrey-feels:

echoingdaydreams:

dandeleijons:

mrdecomposition:

i-wanted-to-rp-so-i:

wholocked-me-in-my-mindpalace:

improbablenormality:

johnisnothisdate:

catatonicconundrum:

adolfi:

Hitler flirting with Eva Braun.

I don’t know how this makes me feel

It makes me feel very uncomfortable

You know what’s so uncomfortable about this? It shows that perhaps one of the most evil men in history, was a human being. That, on occasion, he could be nice, even flirty. That’s not all. You want to see evil people as evil, screaming horrible stuff over a desk with 20 microphones with 20, 000 people saluting them. The evil is clear and recognizable then. This shows a completely different image, it scares you because that means that evil isn’t a stereotype, that evil is not recognizable, that evil could be anyone. It scares you because this shows that could be lurking inside anyone and you’ll never ever know. Maybe in you? 

i reblogged this literally like 2 minutes ago, but i want this version because of that comment ^

That comment is one of my favorite post commentaries, because it’s completely right. People aren’t inherently evil. Like good, it’s a role they grow and live into. We have just as much potential to destroy as this man exhibited. And it’s a very eye opening experience to realize that.

does anyone even remember that one time hitler attended that luncheon between world leaders, some guests of which even included china’s socialist leader as well as Stalin. And then when they were ordering, everyone was gladly ordering impressive dishes one after the other, but Hitler placed an order for barley tea and a pheasant (considered a peasant’s meal by standard). When he was questioned as to why he would order something like this in something as grand as a world leader’s congress, he replied,

“I don’t smoke when my people cannot smoke, and I cannot eat when my people are going hungry.”

He wasn’t evil for its own sake, let’s try to remember that despite the countless murders, but for a moment, he did actually believe he was doing something for the good of his countrymen.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

No, he’s right. Hitler, though extremely wrong in his views, did everything for what he thought would better the lives of his people. It was wrong. It was disgustingly, horribly wrong. But he did not do it because it was evil and he was evil. He did it because he believed it would help Germany and those who needed a better life. Those who don’t understand or even try to understand the human brain will always label men like him as ‘evil’ because it is easier to accept. But he wasn’t ‘evil.’ He felt love and loyalty and responsibilities. He simply took these aspects and morphed them into a twisted, violent thing. 

Tumblr is probably the only place we could have this conversation and not be lynched.

dang son

“Every villain is a hero in his own mind.”


― Tom Hiddleston

This post speaks to an ultimate truth. Everyone believes that they’re right in what they do, and that they’re doing good. If someone knew that what they were doing was wrong, they wouldn’t do it.

No one on this post is defending him, what he did was beyond unspeakable, but we realize that he thought he was doing the right thing, however perverted and horrible it was.

(Source: axishistory)

11 pm:
I think I might go to bed early tonight
3 am:
lol

sevenspacemonkeys:

sevenspacemonkeys:

am i the only one that talks to myself?

no

Reblog if you have ever been called:

Fat
Ugly
whore
Slut
Cunt
Freak
Nasty
Weird
Emo
Cutter
Stupid
Worthless

this has too many notes.

(Source: suicide-is-my-dream)

lokid-fallen-angel:

frolicking-pizza:

sherlockedtrekkie:

cinnamees:

khaleesibeyonce:

I JUST WENT AND READ THE ARTICLE BOUT THIS ONE OF THE BOOKS WAS EVEN MADE OF SKIN FROM A GUY WHO WAS SKINNED ALIVE

oh





[X]

how do we have a gif for EVERYTHING INCLUDING PAPER BEING HUMAN SKIN

9 seasons of about 22 episodes per season at about 40 min per episode = AT LEAST 7920 minutes of footage, all of which is gif-worthy 
That’s how.

lokid-fallen-angel:

frolicking-pizza:

sherlockedtrekkie:

cinnamees:

khaleesibeyonce:

I JUST WENT AND READ THE ARTICLE BOUT THIS ONE OF THE BOOKS WAS EVEN MADE OF SKIN FROM A GUY WHO WAS SKINNED ALIVE

oh

[X]

how do we have a gif for EVERYTHING INCLUDING PAPER BEING HUMAN SKIN

9 seasons of about 22 episodes per season at about 40 min per episode = AT LEAST 7920 minutes of footage, all of which is gif-worthy 

That’s how.

(Source: unwoundstar)

mariiette:

unfreshing:

words cannot describe the appreciation i have for the person who put this together

i want to be raven baxter ok

sharkchunks:

iandsharman:

notahoe:

my type of public transportation 

“Why were you late in today?”
“Oh, I got tied up on the subway…”

I was always 50/50 on whether to reblog this but the last comment pushed it to like 95/5 in favor.

sharkchunks:

iandsharman:

notahoe:

my type of public transportation 

“Why were you late in today?”

“Oh, I got tied up on the subway…”

I was always 50/50 on whether to reblog this but the last comment pushed it to like 95/5 in favor.

maxtheirisagent said: ((Do you think you could do some cute SeaMexican or ChilledMexican? I don't really care what AU it's in. I just need a little cheer-me-up))

reblog-fandoms-and-a-loser:

maxtheirisagent:

reblog-fandoms-and-a-loser:

maxtheirisagent:

team-soulmates:

A cheer me up is what you need. A cheer me up is what you’ll get. I haven’t written ChilledMexican in a while, so I’ll probably write that. Ali probably wouldn’t mind getting into this either.

Would you, Ali? I feel like I’m taking I’m taking over requests….

- Hunter

((Can’t wait to read it! Unless it’s already out and I didn’t notice…?))

It’s not done yet since I it’s a warzone for what I should do. It’ll be out no doubt, though.

((Thanks! You have no idea how much this means to me c: ))

You are my friend. This was how me met. Me writing SeaMexican or SeaChaos for you and then we became buds! :3

I wasn’t even aware we were getting requests. Sorry baby. I’ll get on top of some if you want.

crossedstirrups:

houseofhanover:

funnyorwtf:

Saw this on a door at work.

the lights are agog # the ceiling’s aghast # is the desk drawer in love at last?

need to reblog this again for those tags

(Source: viralvdio)

Do it.

maxtheirisagent:

wishtoconfess:

I will write about the following, leave one in my ask box.

Dear person I hate,

Dear person I like,

Dear ex boyfriend,

Dear ex girlfriend,

Dear ex bestfriend,

Dear bestfriend,

Dear *anyone*,

Dear Santa,

Dear mom,

Dear dad,

Dear future me,

Dear past me,

Dear person I’m jealous of,

Dear person I had a crush on,

Dear girlfriend,

Dear boyfriend,

((For both mun and muse. Please specify which it’s for, or else I’ll decide!))

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